Monday, August 24, 2009

96. Understand that there are many different roles within this field they call "Finance"

Boys are always chomping at the bit to tell you about their strenuous job at whatever bank/holdings/capital/blah blah blah. Now, since we've all gotten the "I'm an I-banker, worship me" line from a two-piece suit clad Happy Hourer, D. Cohen has provided the outline below to help navigate the multiple titles within the industry.

10.Teller (yes he works at a bank...but lets be real)
9. Commercial Banker (scum of the earth)
8. Mortage Banker (
7. Investment banking intern at any of the following banks (cowen, jefferies, morgan joeseph, twp....aka boutiques)
6. Structured products (could mean a lot of things, most suck, some are awesome, avg it out and its still lame)
5. Janitor at Goldman Sachs (85 Broad is 85 Broad)
4. Retail Fixed income sales (institutional above retail)
3. Traders (again a lot, some suck, most are awesome)
2. Investment banker at any bank
1. Investment banker at Goldman JPM, Morgan Stanley


  1. Just thought that I would clarify here, as somebody who has been a #1 before in a previous life...

    First of all, the guys who have the sweetest gig are the #3/#4, Sales and Traders. That's what the guys in the movie Wall Street did. It is a MUCH better job than traditional I-banking, because you work about half as many hours, party a lot more, and get paid just as much. They are also the last to get fired in the event of a downturn (as long as they do a good job). The best job there is, period.

    Second, you should just draw a line between #4 and #5, and not pay attention to anything lower than #4. No offense to janitors, tellers, and commercial bankers, but it's a totally different game. It'd be like being in Gap Corporate vs. folding clothes at a Gap store.

    Third, you are missing a couple jobs here...

    The biggest is Private Equity and Venture Capital. These are the jobs that people who do #1 and #2 are hoping to get once they are done with their slave duties. Money Managers are also potentially big time, but there are so many degrees of that job, that I don't even dive deeper.

    Third, you forget Research guys. They make a bit less than Bankers/Sales/Traders, but they get to be the face of the operation and go on TV a lot and are sometimes quite famous as a result. Plus they have a more fun job.

    The best job, of course, is to be an entrepreneur who starts a company, has an IPO or merger, and then hires the i-banker to do all the work for them. :)

  2. We're talking about SF here Bryan, not Menlo Park, so Sand Hill's PE and VC dudes need not be included.

  3. Note to self: do not wander over to Brianna's blog and try to hijack a posting. ;)

  4. for the record... we are currently calling a moratorium on dating bankers. regardless of how "baller" they may seem.

  5. you guys are nazis